Step right up! Step right up! The Texas Rangers General Store is open for business and nothing in the store is off limits. (This is essentially the scene in Arlington as Chris Young embarks on his first trade deadline) In other words, “look around and see if there is anything you need, although this isn’t a going out of business sale”.

BARGAIN BIN

Entering the store there is a big bin with “make an offer” marked on it. (This means these players are for sale and we understand that we can’t expect much for them, if anything) As you start to look around in there, you get a feeling of what to expect. Looking up at you with puppy dog eyes is RHP Jordan Lyles and a few broken things scattered around. You think you saw C John Hicks and maybe RHP Josh Sborz somewhere in the pile. Basically, you could offer a little something to keep others away. But, if you wait you can likely dumpster dive for them when they are eventually thrown out for next years merchandise.

UMPULSE RACK

You look over at the cash register and see the impulse items. These are the things you grab at the register while waiting to pay. Usually they are last minute when no store in town has anything you want that is affordable. Yet you need something that could be an improvement over what you already have. Or…. at least they give you some depth should injuries occur. You scope it out and see utility guys like Brock Holt and Charlie Culberson hanging there. While these items are not going to cost very much, they also might get thrown out when next years line of products are ready. Thing is they also have some value if you are desperate.

MISCLELLANEOUS ITEMS

As you start wondering through the store you come across the items that aren’t priced. You aren’t sure what they will cost but you know they could be affordable. The problem is that the owner can’t decide if he wants to sell them or what price to sell them. They all have value, but it isn’t like you are getting merchandise that is a game changer. But getting one of these for the right price, might free up money for another big ticket item you have had your eye on. Whether the big ticket item is in this store or not, you see some good looking stuff. As you walk down the isle. You start poking and prodding and picking up RHP Mike Foltynewicz, 2B Nick Solak, LHP Joely Rodriguez, IF/DH Andy Ibanez, OF David Dahl, LHP Kolby Allard and OF Eli White. Problem is what is the asking price and are they actually for sale.

ACCESSORIES

The next isle is loaded with accessories. None of them are tested major league ready players. But if the big ticket items in back are too expensive, an accessory or two added to the purchase might make it more palatable. These are not bad looking merchandise. You start wondering if giving up a lot of currency for an impact player might be a better deal with some of these add-ons. IF Anderson Tejeda, 1B/3B Sherten Apostel, SS Maximo Acosta, RHP Yerry Rodriguez, OF Steele Walker, LHP Jake Latz, RHP Ronny Henriquez, RHP Cole Uvila, OF Bubba Thompson, IF Ryan Dorow, IF Davis Wendzel, RHP Mason Englert, RHP Owen White, 2B/SS Luisangel Acuna. On the shelf below them are LHP Joe Palumbo and LHP Brock Burke along with some guys who are broken but being fixed. Guys like 1B Ronald Guzman, RHP Jose Leclerc or RHP Kyle Cody. There are some really intriguing and nice items here. Yeah, the price for the big ticket pieces are a lot, but adding some of these might ease the blow.

VIP LOUNGE

There is nothing in your cart yet. As you get to the back of the store you can tell things are changing. Stuff just looks different. The lighting is lower, there is a bar over in the corner. There is plush seating with waitresses and stage in the middle. Awe….. this is the VIP Lounge. These items are more expensive, but there might be a palatable price you are willing to pay. As you enter the room RHP Ian Kennedy is sitting in the corner holding a fish bowl. The bouncer at the door tells you that he will be sold for the best price. Make a bid and put it in the fish bowl. There are other bids in the bowl already, so you make a bid. Winners will be announced at the end of the auction. You settle into you seat along with about 15 other executives. You are handed a item list with opening bids. That list includes RHP Kyle Gibson, OF Adolis Garcia and OF Joey Gallo. (Some are too expensive from the start, but you are told to at least check it out) You call your bosses. “How much are we willing to go”? (Behind the curtain you see the rest of 40 man active roster wondering around as if they may get called to the catwalk)

The auctioneers table suddenly lights up and the he steps out. Your head immediately tilts as you make your way up to eye contact. That’s when the thought crosses your mind as you meet his gaze……………… How F’ing tall is this guy?

First item is up for bid.

Nerd Out!

Featured Image: Goop.com
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